What Rulers Are the NFL Using?

I am doing very little writing this week because for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to try to change apartments. But I was deeply amused by an observation that football writer Brandon Thorn posted on Twitter aka X the Everything App Where You Can Make Payments:

Basically every [offensive lineman at the NFL Combine] measured a fourth to a half inch shorter with arm length/wingspan than they did at the Senior Bowl *and* Shrine. So factor that into your overall takeaways from body types and projections.

Let me explain: There are three major events before the NFL Draft in April where prospects come to meet with scouts, run drills, and have their measurements taken. These are the NFL Combine, the Senior Bowl, and the Shrine Bowl. They used to be very important because not every game was recorded and televised. They are now slightly less significant because every game is recorded and televised, but are still largely just excuses for job interviews and television inventory.

Thorn’s observation that the NFL Combine measurements are notably different than the Senior Bowl and the Shrine Bowl tell me that either something extremely strange happened to 300-pound men’s arms or the NFL Combine is using a different brand of ruler.

Maybe the standardized ruler broke between position groups. Maybe a dog ate it. Maybe an intern misplaced it and hastily ran to CVS, bought several Caliber brand flexible rulers and duct taped them together. Maybe the intern’s boss thought that was weird and said, “hey, Gene, what the fuck is up with the wingspan measurement thing” and Greg was like, “I dunno what you’re talking about also my name is Greg,” and the intern’s boss said, “whatever you say, George.”