Return to Seine-der
Let’s Check on How the Olympic Events in the Seine Are Going
My last newsletter went hard in the paint on the $1.5 billion cleanup operation Paris undertook to make the Seine swimmable for Olympic events like the triathlon. Here’s follow-up on how that’s going for the Olympics: great!
Hours after I hit send on Sunday, organizers postponed training sessions in the Seine after water sample tests found high levels of bacteria. They postponed training sessions Monday too. The men’s triathlon event itself was scheduled for Tuesday, July 30, but it was pushed to July 31, the same day as the women’s triathlon.
What makes the Seine unswimmable is rain causing overflows in basins holding contaminated water, which then pours into the river and bumps up the number of E. coli bacteria. This was not good considering the forecast ahead of July 31 called for rain.
One AP report quotes Aurélie Merle, the Paris 2024 director of sports, saying that “we’re living in the 21st century where, unfortunately, there are far more meteorological events that happen that are beyond the control of the organizers,” implying there are meteorological events they can control, presumably with the help of a kindly old wizard named Spageto the Wise.
For their part, ahead of the race the athletes just wanted to compete. They were rip-roaring and ready to go. They prepared for the E. coli by taking more probiotics, building up bacteria resistance in their stomaches. American athlete Seth Rider said he refrained from washing his hands to build up an E. coli tolerance, something he claims is backed up by science, but I think is just an excuse to save three dollars on handsoap.
The World Triathlon Federation, which is overseeing the triathlon swimming competition at the Olympics, says that 900 E. coli colonies per 100 milliliters is “sufficient” for swimming purposes, per their water safety guidelines.
I was curious to find datapoints from another organizations for comparison. According to Michigan’s Department of Enironment, Great Lakes, and Energy, water is only safe for swimming if the level of E. coli falls below a daily mean of 300 per 100 milliliters. If it’s one iota over that, government officials close beaches, as they recently did ahead of a heatwave.
I suppose it makes sense that there would be different safety standards between an American regulatory body and a sport organizer. Not everyone who swims in the Great Lakes is an incredibly healthy athlete. Also, when a bureaucrat says “no swimming in Lake Huron today” it doesn’t affect international television contracts or the fragile egos of politicians terrified of looking stupid for approving a multimillion dollar boondoggle.
Luckily for French politicians and their Camus reading psychotherapists, at 3:20am local time on July 31, organizers got back test results indicating the Seine was clean enough to swim in. Sighs of relief could be heard from the Eiffel Tower to The Lourve. High fives abound. The weather wizard took a break. Never mind that test samples are taken 21 and a half hours before decisions are made, leaving the degree of actual safety relatively unclear.
Nevertheless, Alex Yee of Great Britain won the gold medal in the men’s race. Cassandre Beaugrand of France won gold in the women’s race. Seth Rider finished 29th and won a bottle of Softsoap.
So crisis averted? Yes! Except no. Not yet. The marathon swimming event will use the Seine later this week, and there is still one more triathlon event: the mixed relay race on August 5.
But whoops. Deja vu. The training session for the mixed relay race on August 3 was canceled this due to the water conditions. The Swiss team said on the same day that one of its athletes has a stomach infection and can’t compete in the race. No other such illnesses have been reported as of this writing, but other athletes are not exactly happy about the whole situation.
Take Jolien Vermeylen, a Beligan triathlete, as an example. She said, “while swimming under the bridge, I felt and saw things that we shouldn’t think about too much,” per Metro U.K. “The Seine has been dirty for a hundred years, so they can’t say that the safety of the athletes is a priority. That’s bullshit.”
Vermeylen would later describe this as an inaccurate translation of what she actually said, and that she was more jovial about it than it comes across in writing, but she didn’t exactly recant the criticism.
She also said the river did not taste like “coca-cola,” which I suppose is a good sign. I would be concerned if it did.