🚨 GOALIE CONTROVERSY!!! 🚨
The Edmonton Oilers are one of two NHL teams from Alberta, Canada’s Texas. They are down two games to three against the Florida Panthers in the Stanley Cup Finals. If they lose Tuesday’s game, that’s it for them. The Florida Panthers will be back-to-back Stanley Cup champions, and Ron DeSantis will probably once again insinuate that Floridians are better at hockey than Canadians.
They will enter game six of the Stanley Cup Finals in the midst of the one thing a hockey team never wants to experience while entering a do-or-die Stanley Cup Finals game: A goalie controversy.
Edmonton’s nominal starter, Stuart Skinner, started the first four games of the series but was pulled in Game 3 and Game 4’s blowout loses. Edmonton started Calvin Pickard at Goalie in Game 5, who allowed four goals on 18 shots. The Oiler’s coach said in the post-game press conference that those goals weren’t on Pickard, but rather the defense as a whole, who were allowing “breakways, shots through screen, [and] slot shots.”
Nevertheless, the team hasn’t made a decision who will start Game 6, which will be in Amerant Bank Arena, the second coldest place in Florida behind the blood in Ron DeSantis lizard veins.
Coincidentally, this would make Ron a very good goalie. You want a guy with ice in his veins at the position. Cool, calm, collected. Not easily rattled. Much like with kickers and golfers, ninety percent of the position is confidence.
If Edmonton wants a chance at winning on Tuesday, that means they are going to have to go with the goalie who is most confident after having gotten his ass kicked in by the Panthers, which consist of a handful of a Americans and a bunch of angry Canadians, Scandinavians, and Eastern Europeans.
The only people who know the confidence levels of Stuart Skinner and Calvin Pickard are in the Edmonton Oilers’s building. My suggestion is to send them both to a comedy open mic and whoever is the least rattled after getting no laughs at all should be the guy you ride with in Game 6.